JANUARY MEMORIES

Finally got around to my first layout from my memory jar - February under construction!!

I've wound the saturation up a bit as the blue is really a pale ice colour and didn't photo well. One positive memory for each day - some better than others!

Emily's Art Journal Journey 2007

I've been doing this since the beginning, but not as consistently as I might. With a bit of a push, I am now up to date, so here are the first eleven weeks!! If you know ANYTHING about me, you know how I love to talk, so it won't surprise you that every card has scads of writing on the back of it - emphasis on the "JOURNAL" bit - specially as my artwork ain't the best in the world!! Here you go, then.

Week One
I am so proud of my Family
I am proud of the way they have coped with tragedy - the loss of their father, the death of their sister and now my illness. Three remarkable children, and a husband in a million
The writing here is a bit wobbly coz I wrote it backwards on the transparency overlay!

Week two
What is powerful to you?
One of the most pwerful things on earth - the human mind. Powerful in imagination, in invention, in ingenuity. If you can harness yours, you'll be invincible!



Week Three
I am - alive!
In June 2004 I was diagnosed with metastatic renal cell carcinoma - kidney cancer - which had spread to my lungs. The realistic expectation was about 18 months to live. I am heading for three years with no appreciable symptoms so far. THAT'S LUCKY!




Week Four
A Symbol I Love


My Subversive Elephant!
I spent several YEARS trying to turn "JAN" into an elephant. At long last I had a brainwave, tried my initials, and the Subversive Elephant was born,

Week Five
Ephemera
Apart from BUS TICKETS, my most frequently aquired piece of ephemera would be receipts from bookshops, WHAT a surprise!!





Week Six
Love Love Love
We lost Giz this week. Nearly 18 years, and 17 on from losing Abigail. There's a small black furry hole in our hearts nothing will fill. I hope he and Abi are together at last. Missing the loudest PURR in the world.


Week Seven
Shoes
On my 40th birthday I decided that I would NEVER have uncomfy shoes again. 20 years spent in flat shoes and trousers, and I'm still happy with my decision. This year I have discovered CROCS, so I now have comfy RED shoes

Week Eight
I Miss -
My lovely mother and my darling daughter.
Mother died in 2000, Abi in 1990. One calm, quiet and hard-working - one loud, fiesty and dynamic, but both strong, both well-loved, and both much missed

Week Nine
Inspiration Found
I've always liked KLIMT paintings and more recently I've found the work of the Austrian Friedensreich Hundertwasser. Look at his wonderful buildings and enjoy!



Week Ten
Note to self
Since I was diagnosed with cancer in 2004 I have tended to ignore my mortality. I am becoming aware that my time is not to be WASTED!



Week Eleven
My initial
I enjoyed my calligraphy classes and I sometimes wish I had persisted with them. Apart from anything else I might have improved my handwriting!!

The UPS and DOWNS of February

Good grief. Is it really over a month since I posted?? How dreadful! I did say I'd post more often didn't I?? Some resolution that turned out to be. Anyway, here's February. A good in patches month with some serious UPS and DOWNS.
UP
At the beginning of the month I managed to catch a Dolly bead for Beth, Dom came to spend the night and we went to a great 18th birthday party. We also went to watch Phobe as Dorothy in her drama group presentation of The Wizard of Oz


DOWN 12th
Concern about little cat grew and grew and although he did pick up a bit - the infamous purr returned - in the end we decided enough was enough and we let him go. We'd had him for just under 18 years, so it was a terrific wrench and there is a little black furry hole in our lives. I feel as though I have lost another link with my daughter. She loved him so much: I hope they are together at last - she waited a long time for him to join her. She wanted him buried with her, and 17 years and two days later he joined her. I'm planning to scrap his life. maybe if I can do HIM I can get up courage to do HER. .


DOWN 15th
My trip to the consultant. Things are gradually getting worse, and this time I was asked if I wanted to start treatment. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! We agreed to give it another three months and monitor things. I've made up MY mind not to start until after my birthday in June - I want to enjoy the party!
UP 15th
Phoebe's 9th birthday tea. We went straight from the hospital, so were a bit shell-shocked for a riot, but the kids had fun and there was cake, and she is BEEEautiful!
DOWN - 16th
My aunt invited me to go to Folkestone with her so she could visit a recently bereaved cousin. I really didn't want to go right then, leaving my poor DH lonely in the house missing Mog and worrying about me, but I felt I had to go. Miserable trip as I don't fit into coach seats, but nice to see places that are writ large in my childhood memories. Aunt did warn me that she snored - but not quite how loud, so I had very little sleep for the two nights we were there!
UP - 17th
Visiting the cousin I hadn't seen for over 40 years and finding another scrapper! Actually she does MASSES of stuff, especially flower-arranging, but she had family photos I'd never seen before and will get copies for me, HOORAY! She's coming this way in April so we will meet again then.
Aunt also visited an old friend - again someone I have known forever, except I didn't know she worked at Bletchley Park during the War and gives talks on the Enigma Machine.
UP 19th - 21st
Home again and off to watch Phoebe dance at the local Festival. She really is good. She danced in 7 classes and got 3 second places and 3 third. One of the seconds was for a tap duet for under 12s - her tap partner is 11 - It was SUCH fun and they were really good together. they looked as though they were having fun.

DOWN
Just feeling so tired after all this that I stayed in bed. That's ridiculous. There's SO much I want to do, and then I just sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
UP 24th
Out for a Chinese with friends
UP 26th
Waterlooville Happyscrappers with two new members. The talk was about Beth's Crop on Saturday, and the possibility of moving venue if it's cheaper/ nicer

So that was February 2007. It looks as though March may be going along the same lines. we already have two funerals and two birthdays, plus Mother's Day, a family photo shoot and Phoebe's next show. And I wonder why I am tired. . .
OH, and I did some scrapping. Four layouts for Beth's class here, as well as a lot more ATCs. Now off to do some inchies for a swap. . . WHAT possessed me - INCHIES - how small is that!!

Just coz I can

Here are the last two lots of ATCs I have done, one for NPLH and one for the Pad.

EVERYTHING ORIENTAL

BE MINE

Tough Day

I had to go for a CT scan this morning. I really hate them, not for the actual scan, which is no problem, but for the barium gloop. Nasty stuff. Everyone hates it, but they don't seem to be able to make it any more palatable. The girl doing the needles was having a bad day - she was having to have several goes at finding a vein -in one case FIVE!! Four people in a row were told they had "bad veins", and she had to have two goes at mine, and I'm not normally difficult. Think she might just have been having an off day.

I certainly was. This is the 17th anniversary of Abigail's death, and, no, I haven't got used to it yet!! I've been talking about Giz lately, so here is a photo from July 1989 of kitten Giz with his Mum, shortly after she was diagnosed.
It's really weird that the kitten lived longer than the daughter; she was 16 and he is now over 17.

Out tonight to our local crop. there were five of us there - we really need six, but i had a good evening and I have now finished my ATC marathon for a few weeks. The next lot aren't due out until April!! I'll scan and post them tomorrow, but right now I'm away to my bed! It's been a looooong and quite emotional day.

Insect days,Moggies and ATCs

Dom had an "Insect day" from school on Tuesday. I asked him what he thought the teachers did on insect day. He reckons they all dress up as insects and rush about the place while there are no kids. Then he thought it would be good if they all turned into REAL insects and got eaten so there wouldn't be any more school. Nothing wrong with his imagination!

Little mog has been ill again. He had a serious op last July when large amounts of his liver were removed, but he recovered well at first. Lately the weight has just fallen off him, and he is now just fur and bones. He eats, though. BOY does he eat!! The vet reckons he isn't able to metabolise his food properly, so he eats for England and gets thinner. Hands up who thinks that might be a good disease to have for a while?? Anyway, last week he got much worse. He had a fit, which isn't unusual, but just didn't pick up after it and by Monday we were thinking he was on his way out. He wasn't eating, and his purr had disappeared. I spent most of Monday night in tears, but got him to the vet, who diagnosed a tummy upset, prescribed steroids, enzyme additives and a fat-free diet. Cat has scoffed VAST amounts of chicken and is lying on Alan's lap purring like a jack-hammer!! Maybe he WILL get to be 18!

I've been on an ATC kick this month. mostly because I committed myself to several swaps with the same deadline, and they all caught up with me at once. Anyway I now have only one more set to do this month, and I know what they will be. The last lot were hard for me because I can't draw, and they were a set on God and Godesses. I had intended them to be very abstract, but the ideas just would NOT gel, so I ended up with Gods of the Discworld. Given how awful my drawing is, they are OK. Took a long time to work out how to draw a crocodile full-face!! What do you think? I know FATE, whose eyes are supposed to be pools of utter blackness with the stars and constellations whirling in their depths, just looks as though he is wearing shades, but hey, that's cool for FATE!

Crafting at last!

FINALLY getting my act back together. I have made these ATCs for a swap on a US forum. My first swap, and most of them seem to be "artists" - in that they draw and paint - rather than papercrafters, so I hope they are alright. The theme is "Children's Literature" and I'm playing it safe with Winnie-the-Pooh. Used the original EH Shepard illustrations, rather than the Disney ones coz Pooh is a better shape - and no T-shirt!

Memories

It's not a new year's resolution, more an obsession, but my theme for this year is going to be creating memories. I MUST do more scrapping, but I also want to organise more family events and write down more of my personal memories. Part of this is obviously because I am aware that I can't go on being lucky with my condition forever; but I am also 60 this year, so the end is nigher than it ever was anyway!!
I'm not altogether sure why I think my family will want loads of information about me and my life when I am gone, but I know how much I'd LOVE to read my mother's or grandmother's diaries - so I intend to give my descendants the option - in spades.

I've made myself a Memory Jar - AND taken a photo of it, but blogger won't let me upload it (not even through photobucket!! :( - I'll try again tomorrow!
Here it is!!


Every day I am going to put one nice memory into the jar, and once a month I am going to scrap them. A combination Diary and memorybook and an incredibly lazy way to document my year. I've even cut up all the slips of paper in advance and put them in a tictac container stuck to the side of the jar - no excuses!!

Two little boys

Dominic came to spend the day here on Saturday. Well, that's the theory!! In fact he now comes here so he can play with Ben from next door. Ben is a few weeks younger that Dom and they are the best of mates. All through the Christmas holidays we have had visits from Ben asking if Dom was here, and I just couldn't stand the little sad face any more, so I arranged with Beth that Dom should come here after the panto on Friday. In the event Dom stayed til Sunday lunchtime to give them more time together. On Saturday evening when Ben's dad came to collect him they were sellotaping themselves together so he didn't have to go home. All they did was play Game-Boy, Playstation and online computer games, but then they ARE 7 and it was raining all weekend!

The panto was quite good. Phoebe was splendid, of course, but the principals were OK and the costumes and sets were certainly VERY swish. Lisa Riley was a fun fairy godmother and the comic was excellent (tho Phoebe said he had got bored and cut out a lot of his material, so the show ended earlier than it had at the start of the run!!) Auditions loom for "Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang" Touring shows use local kids in their productions, and this is on in Southampton for the summer season. Watch this space!

I am starting to craft again after a long dry spell. Only a couple of ATCs so far, but I have 2 swaps on the go, so I MUST get my act together. Got a couple of CJ pages outstanding, too and have promised them for the weekend. . .

Bl**dy January again!!

Please note the above is the title of a Flanders and Swann song , although it does sum up my feelings at the moment.
We had a successful trip north with no real problems in either direction. A very quiet and relaxing time with Nick and Dena and Dena's parents. We didn't really even rouse ourselves to watch the fireworks across the river at Drayton Manor Park - how lazy is that?
We stopped off at our usual pub for lunch on the way home. We have yet to have a poor meal there and would recommend it to anyone. The New Inn, Heckfield, Hampshire. Good food, great atmosphere, excellent service.

Spent Wednesday quietly, mostly catching up on my sleep, but also having a bit of "me-time" for what would have been Abigail's 33rd birthday. That just does NOT seem possible. She's caught in crystal in 1990 for me, and I find it hard to imagine what she might have become. There is a high probability that she would have stuck to her intention of being a nanny in America and marrying an American. If so I guess by now she'd have had several children of her own, and I wouldn't have seen her on her birthday anyway!

Abigail Rachel
3rd January 1974 - 29th January 1990
Love you - always and forever

Tomorrow we are going to the theatre to watch Phoebe in her Panto. Alan is taking me out for a fortifying lunch first AND a trip to the craft centre. HOORAY!

Heading North

Not actually NORTH, but considerably norther than here on the southernmost coast of Engerland. We are off to Tamworth for the New Year to see the Son and Heir (well, Son, anyway). I MAY stay awake to see the New Year in, but if I am as tired as I have been these last few days I may well be snoring. PLEASE keep your fingers crossed for an uneventful journey, and I'll be back on Wednesday, hopefully with some pictures. . .

. . . meanwhile a very HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all

Boxing Day - how did that happen?

How did so much time pass by without me noticing that I hadn't written anything here?? It isn't as though nothing has happened, and it isn't that I haven't spent FAR TOO MUCH time in front of my PC.
I am going to have to mend my ways though. Apart from anything else, I put my blog address on my Christmas letter this year, so people might actually be dropping by to see if there is any news - MAYBE!
It's been a quiet Christmas. We dropped in to Beth and Dom on Christmas Eve for hot chocolate and mince pies, and on Amanda and family on Christmas afternoon. Apart from that we have been on our own, peaceful and relaxing! I didn't decorate the house, didn't cook a Christmas meal, and we have just chilled out and done our own thing for once.
Gifts have also been low-key, except for my lovely TROLL BEAD bracelet. These are fast becoming THE must have non-craft item in a scrapbookers life, and I feel very lucky to have started a collection of these lush beads. They aren't cheap, but they are just SOOO delicious.
Alan and I both have books and books and books to read. I'm stuck into Terry Pratchett again, re-reading "the Hogfather", which I didn't see on the box as we don't have that channel. I've heard varying reports of it, but would love to know if any died-in-the-wool Discworld fan has an opinion.
Off to the dentist tomorrow. A lump of tooth fell out at 8pm on 23rd - just when it would be the longest time before the dentist was open again. So far not painful enough to disturb him, but he won't be surprised to see me - I seem to do this most years!!

Umm - hello! I am still here. . .

I'm not sure why I don't update this more often. It's not that nothing happens, and it certainly isn't coz I don't have anything to say, as anyone who has ever met me will testify! Somehow the days slip by. . . and now it's nearly Christmas, and not a pressy bought! Not likely to be soon, either, as I am at a retreat next weekend and at crops for the following two weekends. . . what cool organisation is that!!

Scrapmanic next weekend, and BOY am I excited. I've only been to one retreat before and that was the Canny Crafts one last January. It was their first, and as it turned out, last, retreat and it had a real "family" feel to it. Most of us knew each other really well from the Canny forum (now The Craft Forum). This is a very different affair. An established retreat with over 50 delegates, more classes and people attending as delegates whose names I recognise. Bit scary!! I am wondering if I shall be able to keep up! Also looking forward to meeting some online friends for the first time - and NOT worrying about keeping up in the gossip and giggle department.

Halloween came and went with the usual prcession of little goblins and witches. Dom and Phoebe made haunted gingerbread houses. This is Phoebe's, complete with plastic cockroach with red goo inside it (Thank you, Auntie Beth!)



Guy Fawkes also came, but has not gone away yet, if the explosions last night are anything to go by. They are SO loud these days - even made me jump, and I LOVE fireworks. Some of my neighbours must spend a frightening amount of money on them.

Next week is DH's 60th birthday (and I'm going to Scrapmanic!) I don't do this often, but I want to say that I am a VERY lucky me to have such a kind man. OK, so he IS a bloke, and they are all annoying on principle, but he has been a rock to me over the past 20+ years and I'd be a worse person without him.

Thanks, Teddy!

I also promised Beth a plug for "No Place Like Home" This was originally set up as a refugee camp when a group of us were thrown out of our usual home by the forum gremlins, but she wants to keep it going as an Altered Art forum. Everyone is welcome, and if you want to play with paint and paper and glitter and bits and pieces, or have ever WANTED to try an ATC and been scared of the big kids, this may be a place to start. VERY small, VERY informal and hopefully, fun! I did once join a UK Altered Art forum, but they cancelled my membership and I still don't know why, coz they wouldn't tell me!??! If you have had this experience try us. We won't treat you like that, honest!!

WHOO-HOO - On a roll here!!!

Another day, another layout! That's got to be the first time in ages I've done more that one in a week! It's going to be a bit forulaic, but I want these pages, from Shimelle's class, to be an obviouse series. If they were going in their own book it would be different, but they are going in an existing BOM, so they need to be easily identifiable. As an added extra I have customised the blinkie she sent us, and that will go on every page.
Here's Shimelle's version:-

And here's mine:-
Subtle, huh?

The other thing is that the REAL purpose of these layouts is the journalling, so I want people to be able to find it easily when they need to. Anyway, here's "SAD". Lots to write about here, of course.

Heading for "ANGRY" now!!

So you think you know me?

Like many of my fellow scrappers I am signed up to Shimelle's online class with this title. It has taken me a while to get moving with it, mostly due to lack of photos, but also to the fact that I decided to do it in 12 x12 format. Most of the others are making a special book and going for 5x7 or 6x6, or something else more manageable. NOT ME!! I want to include these pages in my existing "Book of Me", and that means 12 x 12. I've managed a compromise in that the actual twiddly bits of the page are concentrated in a 7 x7 square which is then stuck on the white 12 inch page. I've only stuck three sides so I can add any amount of writing! I think this will become more necessary at a later stage. The prompts are all to do with mood - Happy, sad, scared, relaxed etc, and I think I could write a novel on sad. Hell, I AM writing a novel on sad!! It's not a novel I want to share with everyone who glances through a photo-album; and it may well not be what they want to read there, so a home for hidden writing is a GOOD IDEA!

Here's my first page. You may find that yellow is NOT my best colour, but it is a happy sunshine colour, so I had to work with it. It also seems to have come out an odd bluish colour here. It really is a white background with bright yellow bits!!

Phoebe came to spend the day on Friday so I introduced her to the joys of Club Penguin, of which Dom is already an enthusiastic member. Phoebe loved it, so she now has her own penguin, and is looking forward to spending time with it, and its pet puffle, on Wednesday. On Saturday morning beth was logged in as Dom, and I was logged in as Phoebe and we were playing with the penguins AND talking to each other on the phone. How sad is that??

Here I am again!

I keep intending to update this blog, and then somehow the days escape me! I can't believe it's so long since my last post.
Anyway, we had a quick trip over to the Isle of Wight to attend the birthday party of Alan's cousin Daph. They are a lovely family, so welcoming and interested in everyone. Makes the idea of moving to the Island permanently seem very attractive. We stayed in a super B&B in Shanklin but when we left on Sunday morning I managed to fall down the steps. I hurt my right knee, and my left ankle. I have discovered it is quite hard to limp on both legs at once. The ankle is all but healed, but the knee, like the left one I injured in February, is taking its time. It is VERY painful at night, which is a bit of a bummer!
It has led me to a thought. Small kids are always falling over, but as an adult, unless you are sporty (which I never have been) you don't fall over much. I can remember slipping on the ice one winter in Cosham, so that must have been in the 80's. Since then I have fallen flat on my face in the middle of the (thankfully empty) main road a couple of years ago, and twice so far this year. Maybe I am entering my second childhood??
Had a great day at Katie's Cre8tive crop at Titchfield on Saturday last. For once I actually finished something - even if only a CJ page. I am also very impressed with myself as I have actually USED the layout sketch Debbie and Sophie gave us for our class. It doesn't have any photos on it yet, but it is all ready!!
Saturday evening saw us at the final performance of Fareham Musical Society's production of "Annie", featuring performances by Phoebe and her Nanny Lynda. These are the pictures I need for the layout and Amanda has bought the CD of stills, so I'll have to wait for them. Phoebe was very good - obviously having a ball and very much at home on the stage. Drama, dance and music festivals in the offing now! I can't keep up with her.

I'm half-listening to the news as I type this. It's full of hype about Jack Straw and the veiled Muslim women. I know modesty is required by Islam, but I don't think the full veil is, so I think he has a point. WE live in a culture which regards hiding the face as a sign of ill-intent. From the conning of Jacob in the Old Testament, through Man in the Iron Mask, to highwaymen and the Wild West, we have been taught that covering your face means you have something to hide. This unconciously learned cultural lesson must colour our relationships with people who veil themselves for another reason. WE may have to respect their culture, but THEY should at least understand the suspicion that these practices generate. The veiled girls at college are referred to as "bandits", which is hardly a positive image for them!

New look

Beth came up yesterday and swapped me over to the new blogger set-up. It wasn't til she finished that she told me she didn't know how to get rid of the double title effect, so I'm stuck with it until I find out!

I've already had a complaint about the grey background, but hey, what colour do you think elephants are? Even subversive ones! It may change.

As more and more people are starting blogs it's becoming a thing to use blog-prompts. Just an idea to get you started on something. Beth has used one today which invites you to look at your life in terms of a patchwork quilt. What sort of quilt would it be, and what would some of the patches contain? This started me thinking of actually doing a layout on this theme, but with 60 years to cover I think it may be a bit ambitious to fit it in even a double page. I'm pretty certain it would have to be a crazy quilt - no overall pattern, colour or texture, but one or two strong themes! I'll have to think about this!!

Meanwhile I am nearly at the end of the CAT Circle journal I have been doing. Only half-a dozen of us, but I have really enjoyed it. One more page to do, then I'll scan my book and show you the pikkies.

Meanwhile here is one of Alan's pictures of the squirrels on the Isle of Wight. he thought they'd be shy and elusive. In the event one of them came and sat on his knee!!

9/11 Out of the Blue

I read this poem by Simon Armitage last night. It is being read on Channel 5 (which I can't get) this evening. It is very long, but it is well worth the effort. It is written from the point of view of a man working at the top of the World Trade Centre, living through, and ultimately dying on, 11th September. The last lines speak to us all about the world we now live in.

Five years on

what false alam can be trusted again?
What case or bag can be left unclaimed?
What flight can be sure to steer its course?
What building can claim to own its form?
What column can vow to stand up straigh?
What floor can agree to bear its weight?
What tower can vouch to retain its height?
What peace can be said to be water-tight?
What truth can be said to be bullet-proof?
Can anything swear to be built to last?
Can anything pledge to be hard and fast?
What system can promise to stay in place?
What structure can promise to hold its shape?
What future can promise to keep the faith?

Everything changed. Nothing is safe.

In memory of those who died on 9/11, and of all those innocents in many countries who have died as a result of that day.

Link to poem

F-F-FORTY years on!!

I can't belieeeeeeve it, but it is true. I was originally married 40 years ago today. I guess the best thing I can say is that it seemed like a good idea at the time!! Actually I had a wonderful day, and subsequent events are not allowed to take that away from me. Glass of champagne and a canape for all those who say I haven't changed a bit!!

Scarily young and VERY scarily virginal!!

Moving right along

It's been some time since I updated this, but as I think I'm the only person who reads it, it probably doesn't matter much! The Aunt's birthday party went well. It didn't rain on us and there were 20 people there, all related to ME!! Beth and I are putting some pictures in an album for her.



We've also been on holiday, which is the reason for most of the gap. Two weeks on the Isle of Wight, some of the time in the company of cheerful friends. We found some more good restaurants and had a good time despite the howling gale and Alan putting his back out so he couldn't drive!

This is a picture taken out of the bedroom window of the house we stayed in. We thought this cottage was derelict LAST year, but it has even more props this year - including the one which appears to be leaning against the glass! The really SCARY thing about it is that the window I have arrowed shows a light in the evening. Yes, folks, there are people LIVING in this!! When that wall goes the whole roof will fall on their heads. . . There is something to be said for a 1970's "holiday cottage"!!