Whale watching in suburbia

Had my scan yesterday, so today I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself coz I am left with post-scan queasiness. Lasts about two days, and then I'm back to normal - or what passes for normal round here. They have a new scanner. (Just as well really, as the old one is broken!) They are very protective of their new scanner, and don't want to break it, so how much do I weigh?? Now, I don't know. I don't weigh myself on principle, because I think it is far too depressing. I was right! It is depressing. They weighed me. Since August 2004 when I had the nephrectomy I have GAINED over six stone. Now how is that possible? I have cancer, for heavens sake. ADVANCED METASTATIC cancer!! Possibly, no PROBABLY, incurable cancer. Now I KNOW I am a bit of a fraud, because, despite the scary diagnosis, and the VERY scary prognosis, I actually feel fine. HONESTLY. I have had no symptoms of this disease, so it is very easy to ignore it and just get on with life. There really isn't anything brave or praiseworthy about it, coz I really can just push it out of my mind, and it doesn't jump up and bite me on the bum. However, I DO NOT expect to GAIN WEIGHT!!!! There is no jolly justice is there?

I also have my own personal soap-box about the way obesity is being treated. It's an epidemic, we're told. It's a serious problem. And yet, if you ask a health professional for help you get virtually nothing. Because it's your own fault. If you weren't weak-willed and lazy and stuffing your face 24/7 you'd be slim and energetic. OH YEAH! My contention is that eating disorders should be given the same level of funding as alcoholism and drug addiction. I also believe there is ONE fundamental difference between food addicts and other addiction. Hard as it may be, anyone addicted to one substance, or one set of substances, can chose NEVER to use them again. Food addicts still have to eat. EVERY DAY. More than once. What do you imagine the recovery rate for alcoholism would be if every alcoholic in recovery were forced to have one drink a day? Just one, no more, no less. Oh, and to add insult to injury, that drink must be your LEAST FAVOURITE form of alcohol. That's what food addicts have to do. Every day. You HAVE to eat. You HAVE to eat stuff you don't like much. EVERY DAY! FOREVER!! And they wonder why it doesn't work!!

And why, if I really want to buck the odds, and try to lose weight, do I have to PAY to go to Weight Watchers or Slimming World? Why does my local Health Centre (5 practices under one roof) not have an obesity clinic? Can you imagine the outcry if there were organisations preying on alcoholics and drug abusers and turning their rehabilitation into a multi-million dollar "industry"? Yet we fatties are EXPECTED to become part of that exploitation. GRRRRR!

And Jan falls through the top of her soap-box, crushing it to matchwood